A perfect love, experience or fantasy, is part of everyone’s most intimate album; indeed, we all have a highly personal version of what love is.
By falling in love, we indulge in an exhilarating feeling that cannot always be put into words. Mesmerized by the uniqueness of ‘the happening’, each time we fall in love, we remain speechless.
The sounds of love are related to music. The two partners develop a secret code and like in a conspiracy they utter whispers and muffled laughs.
Love-less is like home-less
We would not appreciate the falling in love if we are not reminded of ‘the falling out of love’, and regardless of its duration, from few months to years, this period is extremely verbose.
When un-grounded we want to talk; extroverts turn towards trusted or accidental people they cross roads with. Introverts fill up diaries.
When love-less we are forced to return back to our comfort zone, looking for contribution and sharing. We are once again vulnerable, rational and fearsome.
Compass and compassion
At the period of falling out of love, we may sit down to compose meticulously two catalogues: the cons of staying in this relationship, the pros of being in a loving relationship with ourselves. The contribution of other voices, even from dead writers or film directors, is also appreciated if we are to rewrite the map of our emotions. The outcome is of high validity as it is the essence of many voices and instruments.
The above catalogues are not to be confused with the checklist ‘what I hope to find in my next partner’; the latter is like a warming up, like playing chess alone.
Two words for love: agapi & eros
I was born in Greece and brought up in the Greek culture where we have two words for love: love-agapi (affection, fondness) and love-eros (cupid is the visual representation, and erot- is the root from which the word ‘erotic’ derives).
This dichotomy makes me aware of the separation between ‘love’ and ‘erotic love’ which penetrates many aspects of life in many geographic and cultural fields of today.
My studies and later traveling in life and in the world only reinforce the early feeling that our expectations and codes of love are culturally determined, as much as they are defined by our psychological patterns from family, mainly.
What means to be in love or fall out of love, stay happily or unhappily together, live in a garden of Eden or as a captive is related with a bunch of semiotics and economics of dating and commitment, with references from music, film, literature, from myths and fairy tales, from advertisement, from social media.
However, the feeling remains deeply personal. Against all odds, each one is in a position to ‘re-cognize’ or ‘re-compose’ a syllabus, a map or an atlas of love/eros from a glimpse, a word, a touch, a nod, a look, a hue in the voice or, whatever.
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P.S. for further reading on the distinction of love/ eros you are kindly requested to visit my bilingual posts: